Reviews - Film - Text Commentary
Green Lantern: First Flight
Original
Release Date - July 28th, 2009 (DTV Only)
When Hal
Jordan first becomes a Green Lantern, he is put under the
supervision of senior Lantern, Sinestro, only to
discover that his so-called mentor is part of a secret
conspiracy that threatens the entire Green Lantern Corps.
Presented below is a text commentary conducted while several of
The World's Finest volunteers viewed the film for the first time. It's not so much informative as
it is a way to gauge the opinion of six different individuals as
they watch the film for the first time, although the majority of
the chat is merely mocking or commenting on what is happening on
screen, so it's more of a textual review than anything.
Participants: Andrew, Ian, Mike, Zach, Erica,
Evan, Anne
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 Andrew: pretty
Ian: and that was our 1-second look at
Hal Jordan before the GL ring pops into the picture
Mike:
lol
Andrew: I give that landing a 5.3
Ian: 10/10
under Launchpad McQuack standards
Andrew: woah, they uglied
up Abin
Mike: he has a lot of green eye shadow on
Zach:
He wanted to go out in style
Andrew: oops
Zach: Kral's
music is so awesome
Andrew: hmm...is it supposed to do that
Andrew: ...what's with the kissy-face lipstick application
Ian: Sailor Mooooon
Zach: he wuvs him
Erica: what's with the sailor moon transformation
Mike: hehe
Erica: OMG
Erica: it
seriously is sailor moon
Ian: By the power of the
Moon!
Ian: I'm here to... I have no idea!
Evan: Maybe he'll use his ring to conjure up some
Sailor Scouts to help him out.
Zach: the explosions are so
pretty
Erica: I agree hal...
Erica:
did that thing just self destruct or something?
Andrew: yup
Zach: yarp
Andrew: I don't think they get the Lantern
shtick across very well
Erica: they need to lay
off the green
Zach: it's like the bat symbol. everything has
the bat symbol on it
Ian: design plan, step 1: Bath
everything in green
Ian: step 2: there is no step 2
Erica: no no
Erica: step 2: see step 1
Andrew: step 3: there is only Zuul
Zach: I love how the
green overshadows the names of people too
Mike: yeah, that
was not a good idea
Zach: you can barely read Page's name
above Timm's in that one shot
Ian:
It's like the Superman: The movie opening, except... green!
Anne: I am kinda tired of this style music
Erica: wait, how did that
explosion NOT get that shuttle thing
Erica: a
basket..really?
Andrew: He brought us a pik-a-nik basket
booboo
Ian: who took my pic'a'nic basket!
Zach: I'm
guessing it was wrapped in green goo
Erica: MAKE ME
A SAMMICH
Anne: Hal never has the most imaginative
constructs
Anne: that's Kyle's department
Andrew: so....greentooth?
Ian: what a great greeting
from his fellow comrades
Erica: why don't people
ever talk first
Ian: HI! *punches you* welcome to the
team!
Zach: I hope like a week has passed or something
between the ring receiving and these guys showing up
Anne: No mocking Sinestro's name, please
Erica: they didn't even say hi
Zach: cause Jordan
knows an awful lot about the ring to take on these guys so early
on
Evan: It's like those glow in the dark stick
strings with the hand on the end you could get in the toy
capsules.
 Andrew: This Sinestro guy seems trustworthy, I
bet he's going to be the greatest hero ever
Mike: lol
Ian: he sure is nicer and more professional than the rest
of the mooks
Erica: yes, but he has smarmy written
all over him
Erica: like a car salesman ::shudder::
Andrew: ...does it really need engine shapes?
Erica: listen to the woman
Zach: yeah
listen to the Cylon
Anne: why did they change Boodika's hair for
no reason?
Ian: 1 second exposition on immortal
guardians, 10 seconds of pretty pictures
Zach: to be
different!
Ian: he had to make up for Sinestro's mustache
Andrew: So that's what happened to the Smurfs
Zach: he?
Anne: not a big fan of the face details in this style
Mike: me either
Ian: oh, thought you meant the bird
guy - yeah, I don't know these people
Evan: Heh heh...
complex tool.
Erica: HUMANS ARE EVIL
Zach: sad
panda face
Mike: actually, I like the guardians faces, but
not hal's
Zach: I like the detail, reminds me more of the
comics
Erica: was that sinestro who said the smell
Andrew: The smell? Agent Smith is one of the Guardians?
Erica: what's wrong with hal's face?
Erica: "GIVE ME THE RING"
Andrew: I think he got
it stuck in a vice
Zach: Victor Garber's freakin' fantastic
Erica: who?
Ian: Sinestro's VA?
Andrew:
wow...Ch'p looked even more like a rodent than usual
Zach:
Ian wins
Erica: GLOWY EYES TIME
Ian: pfft
- peer pressure got him
Ian: waaah, waah!
Evan: Gross
Zach: ass ownage
Anne: Ch'p
Mike: HE SEDDA BAD WORD!
Zach: this one has more swears in
it than the others
Zach: that's the last awkward sounding one
though I think
Erica: hey look! his suit has a six
pack...
Ian: It's great that
the Lanterns don't let cruel, destructive species into the Corps
who would punch people first before talking to them, even after
having been chosen to be part of the Corps
Zach: why wouldn't
it
Erica: it just seems weird
Mike: lol,
already planning for live action adaptation
Andrew: looks
more like a 4 pack in most angles
Erica:
1215...1215
Erica: 1215..
Anne: Stay Puft Marshmallow man...
Andrew: My childhood house address was 1214. So close.
Erica: I...can't see the images
Erica: I
just see green
Zach: that's what Blu-ray's for
Andrew:
they'd just be green
Erica: there's a four pack
Evan: At least they don't' have Lantern Nipples.
Zach: well Sinestro isn't human
Erica: what's the
side lines
Zach: so who knows
Erica: no, he had
a six pack in a previous scene
Anne: every style DC
tries, just reminds me that the Timmverse looks the best.
Mike: I like that they're trying out different styles though
Erica: man, it would have been awesome to see this on
a big screen at comic con
Zach: yeah I like Timm's stuff, but
I'm glad this wasn't done in it
Ian: I don't know -
adding more detail to the Tim style is a good idea to me -- just
comparing, say, Gargoyles to JL, or the like make me think that
Zach: I'm not sure who designed these models though
Zach: I
know Montgomery did Wonder Woman
Evan: Look it's
Boogie's cousin from Nightmare Before Christmas.
Ian:
geez, the Corps are an unprofessional lot
Erica:
see, the other guys learned their HI phrases from him
Anne: i have a feeling this story is going to feel very
rushed
Evan: Is this where Han shot first?
Andrew: I think I last saw this bar in Metal Gear 2000
Zach:
I don't know why they hired Landau to do her voice
Zach:
seemed kinda random
 Mike: alien crack whore
Erica: oh fun overdose
Ian: so much for the
effort in the first scene throwing off the scent of Sinestro as
a bad guy
Erica: there was an effort?
Zach: his
name is Sinestro
Zach: I don't think there was an effort
Andrew: ...did one of them pull out an umbrella? o_O
Ian: he was Mr. Let's Talk guy
Andrew: wow, horrible
cgi hall
Zach: his name is also Sinestro
Erica:
rocket launcher ftw
Zach: yeah the backgrounds in that chase
look weird
Andrew: it's a Fraggle!
Erica:
fragger
Ian: heh heh heh
Andrew: Fraggle is
better.
Erica: get your hearing checked dreg :-p
Andrew: I know he said fragger
Zach: he's just rem deprived
Andrew: but Fraggles are awesome
Mike: ew, alien poopy
Zach: he's just being totally unschway about it
Ian: reminds me of the Kthulu
thingers from the Superman: TAS ep
Andrew: wow, that was a
boring pursuit
Ian: later
Ian: quite
Zach: Karkull
Erica: someone is bad at fishing
Ian: heh
heh heh
Andrew: so they're at the hudson river?
Ian: what a coinkedink!
Evan: Now I want to
be one of them just for the ease of fishing...
Zach: chair
slap
Erica: I thought it was a ladder
Zach: nope
Mike: folding chair
Zach: wrestling style
Zach: you
know, cause he's american
Zach: and...whatever
Mike:
lol
Evan: It's those things Shredder moved around
in in TMNT!
Zach: maybe Hal was a fan
Erica: he
needs some anger management
Andrew: Ch'p looks rabid
Andrew: May need to put him down
Evan: "You got
soft on me back there, Earth Boy, And that I WILL NOT tolerate."
"I own your ass." Hmmm...
Mike: hehe
Erica:
THE YELLOW ELEMENT
Zach: aww they touched rings
Zach: you
know the whole color yellow thing is ridiculous
Andrew: take
away the ugly CGI!
Erica: which happens to include
yellow on it
Zach: but then again they're powered by the
color green
Erica: THEN WHY IS THERE YELLOW ON THE
BATTERY
Mike: night
Zach: it's not yellow it's a shade of green
Evan:
Green and yellow are colors that are supposed to induce hunger.
Now I'm hungry.
Erica:
no, it was green with yellow lines
Mike: I could buy all of this, except
for the fact that they call the yellow energy "yellow element"
Zach: but the "green element" thing was fine?
Andrew: do ya
suppose it stings when they pee
Erica: why wasn't
he all tingly fighting hal?
Mike: well, that either
Mike: :0P
Ian: color is very important
to the GL franchise
Erica: yes red lantern
Andrew: I wanna see Oa's idea of casual friday
Mike: hehe
Zach: green pants
Erica: "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME"
Erica: whoa, why's that chick's uniform different
Ian: oops, sorry, thought this was the bathroom
Erica: er the two chicks
Zach: cause she's special
Evan: Hey, look... it's the floating oompa loopmas.
Ian: yeah! The guardian way is to punch out our own
people!
Zach: the guardian's never punched anyone
Erica: ooo
someone's eavesdropping
Evan: Why do I feel like Nibbler from Futurama would
just fit right in with this movie?
Zach: because Nibbler is secretly a green lantern
Zach: french alien gibberish!
Evan: Hey, it's Red
Foreman
Zach: who?
Ian: that's Kanjaro?
Zach: it
is
Erica: apparently
Evan: From That
70s Show
Evan: Kurtwood Smith
Zach: oh haha
Erica: LOL
Zach: I thought that name was familiar
Ian: I only recognize him with the eyes - I need to see
what his normal look is
Erica: calling sinestro
Andrew: faders on teeheeIcanlookinthewomenslockerroom
Zach:
I swear those explosions look like they're from Return of
the Joker
Andrew: could be
 Ian: oh yeah, he shoulda been
calling for backup or something
Andrew: a shoe...really.
Zach: there was only 4 of them
Ian: or at least to
inform them, "Hey, stuffs happening"
Zach: well yeah you step
on bugs with shoes
Zach: unless you step on them barefoot
Andrew: nah
Andrew: I'm not that redneck
Ian: heh,
they call them "rings"
Zach: it's the fuzz!
Andrew: run
from the horrid cgi!
Erica: ...do all of those
rings really need to go and stop that?
Ian: YES
Ian: because that's how the Corps roll
Erica:
okay I guess they need to do cleanup duty
Zach: well
considering it it keeps running into crap they do
Andrew:
I'm glad freakish looking aliens have necks just as fragile as
humans
Mike: ugly CG vehicles
Zach: some
of the CGI is crap in here
Zach: other times it's not so bad
Erica: ugly baby
Evan: I feel sorry for
the mother that birthed that.
Zach: but it made cute noises
Zach: omg red element everywhere!!
Erica: NOOO
Erica: oh wait, this isn't superman
Erica:
it's okay :-p
Zach: phew
Mike: lol
Andrew: sooo...they're
flying through a colonoscopy
Evan: If I had one of
those rings, I'd pretend to Hulk-out with it. "You've made me
angry! Raaaaar! *fwoom!*"
Erica: lol
Erica: pig headed Americans
Ian: I didn't
really see the threat there
Erica: always using
force
Erica: it was a distraction
Ian:
oh noes! Debris that our shields can protect us from!
Erica: yeah but they have to dodge and stuff
Ian: zOMG! what
a surprise!
Erica: I hope GL health insurance is
good
Ian: more CGI
Mike: horrible
Zach: I'm
not sure what the deal is with the CGI in this film
Ian: if STAS could do mechs nicely animated, why not
here?
Zach: because CGI mechs are cheaper
Erica:
they had a 3d artist?
Erica: yeah, it's easier to
animate a 3d thing than it is to draw all the 2d stuff
Ian: whoa, he's Baxter Stockman
Zach: that's the sole
reason for all CGI in 2D movies
Mike: they could at least
make it look more integrated into the art style
Ian:
ouch
Erica: they probably outsourced :-p
Erica: ooo that can't be pleasant
Andrew: That
sucked.
Ian: yeah, that was nasty
Evan:
At least it's not Justice League opening bad...
Zach: yeah
that was painful
Mike: that death was used in alien
resurrection
Ian: well, no more Kanja Ro
Erica: ...because shimming down the wall was going to
help
Ian: wait, was that Kanja Ro?
Erica:
that is
Erica: what's with the honeycombed
Andrew: They're bug-like...so...ya know
Andrew: required.
Erica: SINESTRO SHOT FIRST
Andrew: He seems like
the type.
Zach: gut shot
Erica: uh
Erica: can't they just touch his ring
Erica: and go "AH HA"
Zach: that's what I was
thinking
Zach: but I think Boodika is the only telepath or
something
Ian: then, time to get Boodika
Mike:
but she's being investigated
Ian: let's ignore the
good point!
Zach: I swear this is like a Sinestro movie more
than a Hal Jordan movie
Ian: she is? dammit, I'm not
paying attention
Mike: well, she was there
Ian: oh, power
gone
Andrew: I guess that was an attempt to make
the movie really funny
Zach: there's very little humor in
this
Zach: that
hole is like 40x bigger than what it looked like before
Andrew: ZOMBIE
Ian: man, these rings can do anything
Mike: hehe
Zach: they're like Superman according to Donnor
Ian: boy, wouldn't it be awesome if the Guardians knew
what their rings could do?
Erica: it's all about
the user's willpower
Evan: Yeah, this isn't at all
disturbing.
Zach: Kanjar kinda looks like Doomsday there
Andrew: Not all that much of a surprise for us.
Zach: no it
isn't
Zach: but that kinda was
Andrew: Booty-ka, take it
all off.
Erica: ...is she sleeping with him?
Andrew: I take this all as yes.
Evan: She put him
in a giant condom? O.o
Andrew: Gotta be safe ya know.
Zach: well they are suffocating
Ian: what room is
this, btw?
Erica: wasn't he all shocked just a
second ago
Erica: the
morgue
Ian: oh, the autopsy room
Zach: this battle is
awesome
Erica: why didn't sinestro take the rod
 Mike: it is pretty cool
Zach: he didn't need it
obviously
Zach: especially this part coming up
Zach:
right.....here
Erica: shut it
Zach: MORTAL
KOMBAT
Andrew: pwned.
Ian: ow
Evan:
Well damn.
Andrew: Hey ring, why dontcha mention what just
happened!
Mike: nicely done
Zach: and this shot is just
painful
Zach: bent fingers...painful..
Evan: "My
only... regret is that... I... have... boneitus!" CRACK!
Mike: hehe
Zach: oh and these worker dudes are voiced by
Rob Paulsen. so strange.
Andrew: So all aliens not in the GL
Corps are going to be insect-like
Ian: yay! Qward
Evan: Sing us a jaunty tune, workers!
Ian:
or squirrels!
Erica: SQUIRREL
Zach: well all of
those aliens on that planet weren't insecty
Zach: some were
just fat and rolly
Zach: I love the gaspy vocals of these
guys
Erica: lawl
Zach: and now...yellow!
Erica: so...was his former costume a tattoo?
Andrew: Yes, he was actually completely nude the entire time
Zach: I thought they were gonna pull a Hawk and Dove thing there
at first
Andrew: But is it user-friendly?
Zach: and I was
all aw hell no
Ian: heh heh heh
Ian: that
was a good line
Ian: I was thinking it'd be a different
color
Evan: Is that John Larroquette?
Zach:
likely
Zach: he's in the movie
Zach: although he's no one
now
Erica: you know...this entire time
Erica: they haven't said the oath
Mike: true
Ian: prolly trying to keep it as uncheese as possible
Ian: which sucks
Erica: but
Erica: it's the OATH
Ian: yeah, it's awesome
Ian: prolly just saving it
Andrew: well it's a good
thing Zach went through all that work to apply the oath to the
page
Mike: lol
Zach: Sinestro's super bad ass
Zach:
if they do a story like this for the live action flick it could
be pretty solid
Zach: the falling rings from the sky is a
pretty awesome image
Mike: yeah
Erica: wow
guys....shoving him towards his power source...real smart
Ian: yes! Like Hell! Like Hell!
Zach: LIKE HELL I SAYS
Ian: *one guy looks away* Finee.... Like Hell!
Erica: WIND
Zach: they have transparent bluish
energy
Andrew: oh good he's leaving for no raisin
Andrew: oh maybe not
Erica: ...ooo ...a block?
Ian: did he just vaporize some of them?
Erica: I think he did
Zach: yeah he vaporizes the
crap out of these guys
Ian: and I guess some sliced up
Erica: o.O
Evan: That just looked
awkward...
Erica: omg, it's a death star
Zach:
floating CGI ball of yellow anger
Erica: no really,
why is there yellow on the green one
Mike: it's pretty
Zach: well the yellow doesn't
really appear to really weaken them if it's just a little bit
Ian: the colorists got tired of green?
Andrew: as
good a reason as any
Zach: they don't crunch in pain like
kryptonite
Zach: but if you get blasted with it it just
drains green faster
Zach: I don't get why none of their
costumes disappear
Erica: lol, hal just gets
it back and no juice
Zach: I was about to ask where that red
haired dude was but I guess he was human
Zach: Guy Gardener
Andrew: he's in Brave/Bold
Andrew: so too busy for this
Zach: well that makes...not much sense, but ok
Ian: fan-plotting -- but maybe the yellow is on there so
the Green Lanterns couldn't become too strong
Erica:
...and what is he planning on doing
Zach: I love this shot
too
Zach: You are generals in an army in a war you cannot
win.
Zach: such a good line
Erica: wth
 Zach:
time to go super saiyan
Erica: that was a
really funky face mash
Erica: OVER 9000
Mike:
hehe
Zach: I don't really get how Hal's over there with the
lamp
Zach: if everyone else is over there with Sinestro
Erica: you know what I never got
Zach: cause
weren't they all together
Ian: the same reason he was
by that Karkull guy
Erica: is why do bad guys who
are in the middle of doing something evil
Zach: he was by the
karkull guy cause he was in the sewer
Erica: stop
said evil thing when something strange occurs
Zach: SUPER
SAIYAN WOO
Erica: why don't they just finish he
deed
Erica: THEN go
Ian: a sewer which
apparently has only one pipe
Zach: it's an efficient sewer
Ian: is this Ion?
Zach: is it what
Zach: Oa you
mean?
Erica: oo
Ian: nevermind - GL thing
that I barely know about
Erica: no, apparently at
some point GL becomes Ion
Zach: oh
Zach: I thought he
became the Spectre or something
Erica: I don't know
if it was Hal
Zach: whatever that thing was
Erica: yeah Hal become spectre
Erica: but
there was an ion too
Zach: ah. maybe it's based on that or
something
Erica: NO ONE ESCAPES THE EYE OF MORDOR
Erica: er SINESTRO
Zach: you know the guardians
look like mini-popes
Ian: heh
Evan:
BOGEY!
Erica: FORE
Zach: HOME RUN
Zach:
....cricket?
Erica: oh, he's just having fun now
Evan: WHACK-A-MOLE!
Erica: that...was a
sledge hammer :-p
Erica: what if there was life
on those moons???
Zach: aren't they near
Saturn
Erica: and seriously?? moving moons???
Zach: there's no life around there
Ian: maybe his Ion
powers can see life
Zach: he's surrounded by green goo, he
can do whatever he wants
Ian: mm, smoosh
Andrew:
NOOO CHEWIE!
Andrew: oh wait wrong moon smash.
Ian: heh heh heh heh
Ian: aww, no more green
goo
Zach: Why won't you just die!
Erica: guess
he used up super saiyan power
Mike: hopefully that planet
had no life on it either
Ian: heh heh, reminded me of
Judge Doom there
Zach: well this movie wasted like 50 green
lanterns
Zach: so it doesn't matter
Zach: we finally get
into fist fights here
Zach: which is what I thought this
fight was missing
Erica: did he just
hadoken him???
Zach: sure
Evan: Kamehameha
Zach: or Final Smash Samus'd him
Andrew: really...
Zach:
yes really
Evan: Like Wonder Woman, this seems like
the pilot to a series.
Zach: that guardian has the most
annoying name
Erica: which name
Zach: I shall
call him Applesauce for short
Zach: also here you go
Mike: makes me think of lhasa apso
Erica:
so...why is he learning the oath on day 30 :-p
 Zach: I think
this whole movie spans like...2 days, at most
Erica:
no, he took a week off
Erica: so it's probably been
a week
Andrew: yay more green credits
Zach: when did he
take a week off
Erica: appa all apsa?
Erica: APPA
Erica: I want an appa plushie
Ian: hmm...
Zach: Applesauce!
Zach: yeah my initial
feelings toward the film didn't really change
Mike: pretty
good
Zach: though I need to make note of the poor CGI
Andrew: it wasn't bad
Ian: I really wish someone did
something with credits - Pixar's the only ones nowadays I can
think of that does anything fun with them
Zach: none of these
DCU titles have been really flat out amazing
Zach: something
had really cool credits the other day, what was it...
Evan: This reminds me of Ben 10 or something.
Zach:
oh Coraline was kinda cool
Ian: I'm kinda thinking the only reason credits are there
is just to have something employers can check on resumes
Zach: they're there to show you who worked on the film
Ian: yeah, but that's more showing something that keeps
you from looking at the actual credits
Zach: it's there for
legal reasons
Zach: and for sitting in theaters for Wolverine to end
Ian: oh, of course, but, yeah, no one looks at em
Zach: to be "treated" to more of the movie
Zach: screw you
Wolverine
Zach: you stupid movie
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